Five Poems

These are written in response to a prompt by Robert Lee Brewer in his Poetic Asides column.  You can find it in Writer's Digest Magazine and online at http://www.writersdigest.com/ .    As always, thank you, Robert.

The Sun Fell (The Sun Also Rises)

That day he admitted his

crimes against you

against God

against me

against family

His words boiled in

my belly until

I needed to vomit

I did not know where

to turn what

to do

my mind spun out of

control I couldn't think

all I know is that evening

the sun fell

Emma's Wonderland (Alice in Wonderland)

Wonderland made of night dreams

day dreams

imaginings

passages from books

lines from poems

brush strokes from paintings

stippling from charcoal drawings

verses from songs

instrumentals in their entirety

poem song stories built in my soul

No matter what part of Wonderland

I am visiting you are always there

I wake with you travel by your side

give you sparkling silver kisses

or deep red kisses never ending

you play my heart like a piano

late late night or early morning together

waking ends with you by my side

no matter what land one thing remains

I will always love you

Lord of Lies (Lord of the Flies)

Something is not right

way inside the core of you

truth is what you decide

it is

at that moment

lies are only explanations

or evidence of

the problem being with everyone else

never you

not your fault

ever

because you know

what real truth is

an insight no one else has

 

A Good Soil (The Good Earth)

Shrubs gone

wall built

weed cloth laid

now

build a good soil

to feed my garden

potting mix, organic

so much better

than what they sell as topsoil

light compared to heavy

lets roots grow

instead of suffocation

peat moss

compacted treasure of the ages

holds raindrops

giving drink to flowers and fruit

veggies and herbs

long after a thunder storm

compost black gold

feeds continuously

coaxing growth

from stems leaves buds

in turn gifting us with

blooms in purples pinks yellows whites

fruits red blue green purple

vegetables enough for

now Thanksgiving bounty saving for winter

it is with love

I build a good soil

joy comes with harvest

Invisible Child (The Invisible Man)

Wake up to mother's general call

to all brothers sisters

Time to get up

Sit at the table

behind the row of cereal boxes

spread for each to choose

Eat in silence

Dress for school

Walk alone thinking alone

Take my seat in the classroom

saying nothing

following directions

Walking home thinking alone

come in the door to my

shared room without hello

Pick up a book

lie down on my bed

to read my mind's adventures

Dinner nervous time

dad is intelligent stern aloof

mom sighs too often

Back to my room

to read in peace not even

wondering how many words

I have said

or not said this day

of invisibility

Arise

You turned my wailing into dancing; 

You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy

(Psalm 30:11)

There are still things that struggle within me,

battles going round, round tumbling in my head.

Reminders in places I used to go

now anxiety causing

panic inducing

until I quickly shut down and say

I will not go there again,

it is better to stay a prisoner

Holy places that should bring comfort

are good for a moment

but my mind has not forgotten terror

of what happened while I was

absent from my watch.

I leave too quickly 

still wanting to be

allowed to stay.

Music I heard in times ago still bring

sadness joy memories 

my tapping foot

turns into a nervous agitation 

too much

too much to bear

the changes I cannot get past.

But G-d said I am mighty.

Mighty strength is in me

it will not let me

succumb to the apprehension that threatens

an uprising in my heart mind soul.

I will dance in place of crying

sing rather than fear

and walk, purposefully, one foot in front of the other

slowly making my way forward.

Battle causing 

fear creating 

paralyzing monster:

I will arise.

Made This Way (PAD Prompt)

The long needle pierces me again and again.

First my heart, where it stays, stings

(You are too clumsy to dance) my mother said.

It begins to stir, reviving pain adding to it

(Maybe you are going to be pretty. I never thought you would be) my father admitted.

Now it is being wrenched back and forth, stirring the blood

widening the hole it first created.

No!  It is breaking my heart.

I feel the pieces fall away

I try to catch them to put them back

but it is far too late.

(You pretty? Ha!) a boy told me.

(You ain't got no tits!) Yelled from a car full of young men

in summer where tourists neighbors everywhere know I am not.

Another, a spear, was added long ago

through my eye

into my brain

scrambling like eggs
all thoughts feelings of self.

(Why did you write that? You need to see a psychiatrist) my father said.

(You need to go on a diet. Carrot sticks in your lunch box) my mother decided.

(You are not working up to your potential) everyone said.

(NO ONE WILL WANT YOU) my thoughts said.

(UGLY, JUST UGLY) echoed in my mind.

(WHY? WHY DID HE LEAVE ME?) my heart wept.

(I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH) yelled my brain.

Now the needle broke

leaving my heart irreparable.

The spear that took up residence but still protruded

so at any time they could grab it and twist

tear disrupt who I was meant to be.

No wonder he left.

I'm not good enough.