Tuesday, April 10, 2012


You turned my wailing into dancing; 
You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy
(Psalm 30:11)

There are still things that struggle within me,
battles going round, round tumbling in my head.
Reminders in places I used to go
now anxiety causing
panic inducing
until I quickly shut down and say
I will not go there again,
it is better to stay a prisoner

Holy places that should bring comfort
are good for a moment
but my mind has not forgotten terror
of what happened while I was
absent from my watch.
I leave too quickly 
still wanting to be
allowed to stay.

Music I heard in times ago still bring
sadness joy memories 
my tapping foot
turns into a nervous agitation 
too much
too much to bear
the changes I cannot get past.

But G-d said I am mighty.
Mighty strength is in me
it will not let me
succumb to the apprehension that threatens
an uprising in my heart mind soul.
I will dance in place of crying
sing rather than fear
and walk, purposefully, one foot in front of the other
slowly making my way forward.
Battle causing 
fear creating 
paralyzing monster:

I will arise.

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