You turned my wailing into dancing;
You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy
There are still things that struggle within me,
battles going round, round tumbling in my head.
Reminders in places I used to go
now anxiety causing
until I quickly shut down and say
I will not go there again,
it is better to stay a prisoner
Holy places that should bring comfort
are good for a moment
but my mind has not forgotten terror
of what happened while I was
absent from my watch.
I leave too quickly
still wanting to be
allowed to stay.
Music I heard in times ago still bring
sadness joy memories
my tapping foot
turns into a nervous agitation
too much to bear
the changes I cannot get past.
But G-d said I am mighty.
Mighty strength is in me
it will not let me
succumb to the apprehension that threatens
an uprising in my heart mind soul.
I will dance in place of crying
sing rather than fear
and walk, purposefully, one foot in front of the other
slowly making my way forward.
I will arise.